How Domestic Violence Affects Children… and How Our Community Can Help
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time to recognize the impact of abuse on individuals, families, and communities; and to remember that children are often among its most vulnerable victims.
Domestic violence is not always visible. It can happen in any neighborhood, at any income level, and within families that may appear happy and healthy from the outside. While physical violence is often the most recognizable form of abuse, domestic violence can also involve intimidation, threats, financial control, isolation, and other behaviors intended to exert power over another person.
For children growing up in homes affected by domestic violence, the consequences can be profound. Even when children are not physically harmed, witnessing violence, living in fear, or experiencing ongoing conflict between caregivers can affect their emotional well-being, sense of security, and healthy development.
At Children's Law Center of Central North Carolina (CLC), we believe every child deserves to feel safe, supported, and heard—especially when the adults in their lives are facing difficult and sometimes dangerous circumstances.
Domestic Violence in North Carolina: A Community-Wide Concern
Domestic violence remains a serious and widespread problem across the United States and here in North Carolina.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than one in three women and one in six men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. In North Carolina, the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence identified 93 domestic violence-related homicide victims in 2024.
These statistics represent more than numbers. Behind each incident are individuals and families whose lives have been disrupted by violence. In many of these households, children are living with the consequences.
Children exposed to domestic violence may experience anxiety, difficulty concentrating in school, changes in behavior, sleep disturbances, and challenges developing healthy relationships. Some may feel responsible for the conflict around them, while others may be afraid to speak openly about what is happening at home.
Without appropriate support, these experiences can have lasting consequences. But with safety, stability, and caring adults advocating for their needs, children can begin to heal and build healthier futures.
Giving Children a Voice When They Need It Most
When domestic violence leads to protective order or high-conflict custody proceedings, the legal process often focuses on the adults involved. Yet the decisions made in these cases can have a profound impact on the children whose lives are affected.
Children's Law Center works to ensure that children's safety, well-being, and best interests remain at the center of these decisions.
Through our Custody Advocacy Program (CAP), CLC staff and volunteer attorneys serve as court-appointed Guardians ad Litem for children involved in domestic violence protective order and high-conflict custody proceedings in Forsyth and Guilford counties.
Our attorneys provide an independent voice for children, gathering information about their circumstances, listening to their needs, and making recommendations to help judges make informed decisions about their safety and well-being.
This work can include speaking with children, parents, teachers, healthcare professionals, and others familiar with a child's circumstances; reviewing important records; and identifying services and resources that may help children and families move toward greater stability.
CLC was the first nonprofit organization in North Carolina to represent children's best interests in civil domestic violence protective order proceedings. Since then, our work has demonstrated the importance of providing children with independent legal advocacy.
A study conducted by Wake Forest University School of Law found that families in cases involving CLC experienced significantly lower rates of recurring violence than those in a comparison group—28% compared with 70%.
These findings reinforce what we see in our work every day: when children's needs are heard and their safety is prioritized, we can help create opportunities for safer, more stable futures.
Recognizing the Warning Signs of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence does not always begin with physical harm. Recognizing patterns of controlling or abusive behavior can help individuals identify potentially dangerous situations and seek assistance.
Some common warning signs include:
Controlling behavior: A partner closely monitors someone's movements, communications, finances, or daily activities.
Isolation: Someone is discouraged or prevented from maintaining relationships with friends, family members, or other sources of support.
Threats and intimidation: A partner uses fear, threats, humiliation, or intimidation to control another person's behavior.
Financial abuse: Someone restricts access to money, employment, transportation, or other essential resources.
Physical or sexual violence: Any unwanted physical or sexual contact, including threats of harm.
Changes in a child's behavior: Children may become withdrawn, anxious, unusually aggressive, fearful, or experience sudden changes in academic performance or behavior.
No single warning sign necessarily means abuse is occurring, but patterns of coercion, intimidation, and control should be taken seriously.
If someone you know may be experiencing domestic violence, listening without judgment can make an important difference. Believe them when they share their experiences, avoid blaming them, and respect their decisions about what steps to take next.
Rather than pressuring someone to leave a relationship, help them connect with trained professionals who can assist with safety planning and available resources. Leaving an abusive relationship can be a particularly dangerous time, making individualized safety planning especially important.
If you believe a child is experiencing abuse or neglect, contact your local county Department of Social Services to report your concerns. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
A Community Working Together to Protect Families
Addressing domestic violence requires a coordinated community response. No single organization can meet every need experienced by survivors and their children.
Across Forsyth and Guilford counties, Children's Law Center works alongside courts, attorneys, Family Justice Centers, social service providers, and other community partners to help ensure children and families can access the support they need.
Organizations such as Family Services of Forsyth County, the Guilford County Family Justice Center, Legal Aid of North Carolina, and the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence play important roles in helping survivors access crisis intervention, legal assistance, safety planning, and other essential resources.
While these organizations provide critical services to adult survivors and families, CLC fills a distinct need by advocating independently for children whose safety and futures may be affected by domestic violence and custody disputes.
Together, these services help build a stronger network of protection and support for families throughout our community.
How You Can Make a Difference
Domestic Violence Awareness Month is an opportunity not only to recognize the problem but also to take meaningful action.
You can help by learning the warning signs of domestic violence, sharing reliable resources, supporting survivors without judgment, and speaking openly about the importance of safe and healthy relationships.
You can also support the organizations working to protect vulnerable children and families in our community.
At Children's Law Center, donations help sustain our Custody Advocacy Program and ensure that children involved in domestic violence and high-conflict custody proceedings have someone advocating for their safety and best interests.
Attorneys can make an especially meaningful contribution by volunteering as Guardians ad Litem. CLC provides training and support to prepare volunteer attorneys to serve children during some of the most difficult moments of their lives.
Community members can also help by raising awareness, connecting others with available resources, and advocating for continued investment in services that protect survivors and children.
Every child deserves to grow up in a safe and stable environment. By working together, we can help ensure that children affected by domestic violence are not overlooked, their voices are heard, and their futures are protected.
Where to Find Help
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, confidential assistance and support are available.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text: START to 88788
Online chat: TheHotline.org
Family Services of Forsyth County
24-hour domestic violence crisis line: 336-723-8125
North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Find local programs, support services, and resources at nccadv.org/get-help.
Legal Aid of North Carolina
Information about free civil legal assistance for eligible survivors is available at legalaidnc.org.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
If you are concerned that someone may be monitoring your phone or internet activity, consider using a safer device when accessing resources or contacting support services.